2nd day

So day 5 for no smoking. I did try a smoke from my friend. I wanted to try it. And I did, and it was disgusting. I'm so glad I feel that way! It's so relieving I guess. But I'm not out of the woods yet. I know I'm going to have to mentally prepare for total freedom.... Mentally. Crap

I'm going to go and sign up with a gym today. I'm nervous because it's very easy for me to give up. I'm afraid of failure. Terrified of it. So I avoid things like the plague... I'm weak. I admit it. But I'm ready for change. I'm almost 30 (2 yrs). I know I got to make changes for a better me. A healthier me. But I lose focus, and site of my goals. I crash and burn. I can't do that. I need to do better. I hope I can. I'm afraid I won't...